I had a great conversation with one of my clients last week about this exact topic. In fact, this is a topic that is discussed directly or indirectly often in my line of work. It ranges from being successful in weight loss efforts, feeling confident to take on the day, or being a great parent. I think you can relate to at least one of those concerns.
Confidence is a funny thing. Many of us, myself included, project an outer image that is a clear reflection of confidence. I stand tall, chest out shoulders back, look you in the eye when we speak, and speak with purpose. But that is what you see on the outside.
Back to my conversation…when I look at the person I was speaking to (we will call her Jenn for the purpose of this message), I see a confident, successful person who I admire. Jenn is a successful business owner, happily married, loves her kids, and has a great passion for life. I always enjoy talking with her because I walk away with value from each conversation. I view Jenn as a confident person. I was wrong!
Jenn told me she struggles with confidence. She does not see herself the way that I see her. I was shocked! She wants to walk into a room and feel comfortable and confident in her own skin. We are working on that. Jenn is not alone. I am an introvert, especially in crowds. I don’t feel comfortable being in a room with people I don’t know. I struggle with this still today.
I believe the reason why this impacts so many of us is because we are approaching confidence the wrong way. It is not a physical trait. It’s not how you dress or the muscles that you have. It is a feeling!
The definition of confidence is,
“A feeling or consciousness of one’s power or of reliance on one’s circumstances”
We focus so much on showing other people that we are confident. And we forget to remind ourselves. It starts from the inside and projects its way out. Confidence is something that you have to work on daily. You need to work on your belief system that you can succeed at whatever is important to you.
Part of my morning routine is reading a list of 10 things I am grateful for (I do this in front of a mirror and read it out loud). One of the things I say is related to my confidence. I remind myself EVERY DAY that I am confident. Why? Because like you, I forget it once in a while. I get knocked down! My confidence in myself and in my desired path in life keeps me going.
Focus on your confidence from the inside out. Remind yourself every day that you are a confident person. Imagine if I whispered something in your ear every morning. Over time you would start to believe it. So now you have a choice, you can keep saying whatever you have been for too long. Or, you can make a change today and start telling yourself YOU ARE CONFIDENT. You better watch out, in no time at all you are going to start to believe it.
What’s next? Whatever you want!
Commit to your excellence.